fergalicious is 10 years old……….fergalicious…..is 10…….years old…..
This is so funny akshskala
hey you look really cute today
april fools you look cute everyday keep it up
dont ask me what tf im talking about. i dont know ok? im just the vessel. the message has been gifted. i‘ve moved on
Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated
Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-
Me: he needs to be sedated
Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-
Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off
Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate
Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him
Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him
Me:
A man with 3 caution stickers on his med file
I didn’t know what animal this would be, but I sure as hell would have listened the first time if a cat owner told me to sedate their fucking cat
i deleted my aunty on Facebook and she just rang me to ask why
They can’t understand you.
No but they know what I’m feeling.
LOOK AT THIS GENTLE HERD OF DINOSAUR LETTUCE
PROTECT THEM
My uncle sends me updates on his cats
Hello, 911? Yes I’d like to report a murder
okay girls & boys let’s go
* 20 chubby cats follow behind me *
me when i get hauled off to prison for all you can eat buffet crimes
What am I being arrested for? Enjoying a succulent Chinese meal?
your honor do these sound like the actions of a man who has had all he can eat


